Audience and Style

Please Re-write the email message (in the attachments named under “‘Assign on 4.7 page 153”), so that the new version reflects a more audience-centered, courteous and professional approach, while still achieving its important purpose. should make use of the many techniques discussed in Ch. 4 to enhance the appeal of the message to its primary audience, including Reader Benefits.
((There are more instructions provided in the attachment under Assignment 1,please follow them carefully))
Chapter 4 Continued……………………..
Clare must submit her resume. The resume was submitted by Clare.
The leadership cancelled all meetings on Monday. All meeting on Monday were cancelled by the leadership
We cannot make chocolate ice cream. Chocolate ice cream cannot be made.
Our VP made a big mistake in the budget. A big mistake was made in the budget.
Some Key Points in Writing Business messages…..
Use “YOU” view
Would you mind..
Your shipment
Sounding conversational BUT PROFESSIONAL— ( Levels of Diction) p.142
Unprofessional- badmouth/ guts/pecking order
Mid-level- criticize/nerve/ line of command
Formal (High Level) Denigrate/courage/ dominance hierarchy
Be positive rather than negative
NO food allowed. Pls enjoy your ice cream before you enjoy our store!
Express Courtesy
Will you please finish….
Let’s review the new pamphlet together so that you can get the printer to work correctly
Bias -Free language
Chairperson, representative instead of man women, avoid HIS /Her
GENDER biased ( p. 144)
Racial or Ethnically biased
Age Biased
Disability biased
Use Plain language and Familiar words
Remember cc bcc. Will they comprehend the words???
Precise and Vigorous words
A change in profits // a 10 percent increase in profits
Writing in teams — when necessary?
Why is it better?
Same 3 phases—prewriting// drafting?? Revising
Instant messaging/texting
Track changes
Web and telephone conferencing
Google Docs
I would suggest.. How about doing?, You might consider
Defined as ….transmission of information

sender has an idea ….clarify idea and purpose
Sender encodes message —
consider receiver’s background, concrete words; encourage feedback
Sender selects channel – importance of message—– Social media//letter// memo
Receiver decodes message – avoid prejudging, bias against sender// sematic obstacles ( “Babes,” “Chicks”
Feedback Returns to Sender–
clear and concise , complete response, comprehension of message
International messages…. Tricky … Connotations
New recycling program a SCHEME ………………………scheme connotes DECEIT
“To help”
We attach meanings to every word but our meanings are NOT similar
It’s when you miss each other with their meanings
Different Frame of Reference
In relation to your education, culture, experience, personality
Lack of language Skills—adequate vocabulary—PR, SMM
Distractions — digital, physical, emotional. Receiver needs to focus on content, remain objective
TRY TO arrange ideas logically and use words precisely
*Many messages digital!!!! They are generated , stored, processed and transmitted electronically
PREWRITING — 25% of Time
#1 Analyze —
PURPOSE , what do you want the receiver to do// believe. What channel ( face to face- e-mail, memo, letter, blog, wiki, tweet
#2 Anticipate
Profile the audience
What does receiver know
Will receiver’s response be neutral, positive, negative
#3 Adapt
What techniques can you use to adapt your message to audience
How to promote feedback?
Use positive, conversational, and courteous language
DRAFTING— 50 % of time
#1 Research
Gather data to provide facts
Search company files, internet, previous correspondences
What do you need to know to write this messages?
How much does the audience know?
#2 Organize
Organize w/ BIG idea first, explanation in body, action request in end
#3 Draft
Prepare first draft quickly
Focus on short clear sentences, use active voice
Build paragraph coherence by repeating key ideas, use pronouns, transition expressions
REVISING —- 25 % of time
Is it clear, concise, readable, short sentences
Eliminate fillers, long lead-ins, trite business phrases
Develop parallelism
Consider using headings, numbers, bulleted lists for quick readin
Carefully, out loud
Spelling, grammar, names, numbers, punctuation
Is format consistent
Does it achieve your purpose?
Tone pleasant? Friendly ? curt?
The message is appealing to your audience
Did you encourage feedback?
Remember!!!! Secondary audience cc, bcc forward it around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10 levels of Richness in Today’s workplace Communication Channels
Face 2 Face Conversation — RICHEST
Video Chat
WIKI – Leanest
Page 139 – Email message— Look how it is improved………….
140–146 the focus, view , biased , improved
Assignment # 1 Digital Document/Audience and Style – Chapter 4
This assignment is found in the textbook, in the Activities section of Chapter 4. Please refer to the bottom of page 153-bottom of page 153, Task 4.7. “Improving a Negative, Discourteous, and Unprofessional Message”
Read the assignment carefully. You will be doing this assignment on your own.
Please complete the following tasks:
Read the e-mail message contained in 4.7 carefully (this is located on p. 153, top left column).
Pre-writing: Who is the audience? What is their likely response to this message? What are their needs?
Pre-writing: Identify the writer’s purpose–what is she trying to accomplish?
Pre-writing: Make a list of the problems presented by the writer’s style, tone and lack of audience awareness. These problems produce a huge obstacle to achieving the purpose of the e-mail.
Re-write the email message, so that the new version reflects a more audience-centered, courteous and professional approach, while still achieving its important purpose. You should make use of the many techniques discussed in Ch. 4 to enhance the appeal of the message to its primary audience, including Reader Benefits!
Please limit your assignment to one page!
**You have been assigned readings from Ch. 4 that will help you complete this assignment with success. You are responsible for reviewing those pages

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